On Death and Dying.

Nope this is not going to be a morose blog - in fact it will be the opposite, I want to tell you that death is nothing to be afraid of, to talk about death can be very enlightening, to plan ones funeral can be a very peaceful process.

Picture this scene, 00H30 in a hospital room, 2 woman discussing a funeral ....giggling, yes it is possible. If you have stared death in the face once you are not afraid anymore, whether the person lived or died.

Twenty one years ago was my first time, staring into the face of death, was I going to be a widow at the age of 27 with two little boys? I looked at my life from all angles, yes house would be paid up, I would have an almost new car - which I couldn't drive, yes I would have to work again, but that would not be the worst that could happen. I decided that my parents could move in with me, they still lived in an apartment then, and we would be okay. I made peace with death and have never been afraid since - after all what are we afraid of???

If we understood the process of life and death then death would not be our greatest fear. In 2004 I stared death in he face again, this time my mother was diagnosed with a terminal disease MDS, she died in  2008, in 2007 I faced death with her, once when she rallied and came back to tell the take and then finally leave this world on September 19, 2008 with me holding her hand and joking with her! At 10h55 he too her last breath and gently left with that huge Silver Angel that she first met for months earlier when she was in a coma.

In 2010 I once again sat with death, six whole weeks we sat together and watched over Frank. Once again I made my peace, silently went through all my options and then sat besides my husband whilst other people around him either passed away or went home. The saddest was a young man in the room next door, cancer had spread to his brain, just like Franks nephew Louis. I watched him die - not physically but watched the monitor when the switched off the life support - I cried with the family whom I never knew. There was another young person, a girl who was kept in a coma as she could no longer breath on her own as her lungs were calcifying, yes become bones. I do not know what happened to her but I always have happy thoughts when I think about her.

Now once again death is visiting, it is close enough as it is my husbands oldest sisters only son who is leaving us, he is 30 years old and ironically his sister has just found out she is pregnant with her third child - after two girls I know they are hoping for a boy -I am sure they will name him Louis and if it's a little girls she will most probably be Louisa.

This is the circle of life.